New year nonsense

So blog. This has pretty much been abandoned and stepped away from its original idea and etc etc. Turns out I'm not really that thoughtful and don't have a lot of time to read Shakespeare and tend to spend my leisure time on other things, like the pursuit of nail polish, and currently ,spending my last day of mini vacation watching The Return of the King (extended. duh.)

The purpose of this blog is going to change a bit. No one is reading this anyway, nor likely will they ever, so I'm basically just putting this down because someday I'd like to track my easily abandoned ideas by date, so it will be helpful to note that January, 2010, was the month that I stopped troubling myself about my intellectual capacity and went back to bitching about my weight.

tl;dr - Dear diary, I got fat.

I've never really felt good about my weight. I'm not obese, but I've ranged from thin (once for about six months. If you're curious, it was awesome.) to average-y to not so average. Over the past year and a half, I've stopped working on my feet all day and started sitting in front of a desk for long hours. I'd like to say I've become aerodynamically curvaceous but sadly there's very little about me that's aerodynamic.

I really want to get my weight under control and healthily. Being twenty-five snuck up on me, somehow, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life constantly dissatisfied with my body. I like clothes and shopping, I want to be able to enjoy those again, but worse yet, my body just feels like it's full of foreign mass. My arms, my thights, my stomach... all constantly surprising me with squishy areas that feel like I'm me, just constantly in a puffy down bodysuit.

I'm hoping having a place to vent will help. I'm hoping I go to yoga and the gym 4x a week and don't eat take out quesadillas. I'm hoping I get a pony for my birthday after twenty-five years of waiting. These things may or may not happen, but that is what I hope and plan.